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james' diary

Diary entry - 23rd May 2012

Study leave is still in session and I have no classes to attend. 6Th form students get 3 weeks off of timetable to revise for their final exams. Having no timetable doesn't put me in the best of moods. In fact it puts me in the worst of moods. Up until a few days ago I had an ordinary, nice fashion to my day, but that's down the toilet and I'm left with no routine or order to my day. It would be great to meet up with friends, if I had any that were willing or within walking distance.

A recent opportunity for me to gain a new friend has vanished for me. Through her messages it was quite clear that she didn't like the idea of being just friends. In this situation I could have put my desire for a friendship aside and made her happy by dating her, I would have been under more social pressure than I already am and would be a nervous wreck all the time, but I would be making someone else happy, and maybe that would make me a little happier. Knowing that I was bringing a smile to someone’s face and making their day more bearable would be a great feeling.

Unfortunately for her I decided against dating, and the moment I told her that, I felt great. An enormous burden was lifted from my shoulders and I could go about my days without having to worry about pleasing yet another person. What is there to learn from this? Be firm with what you want. It's a very good personality trait to know what you want and not go along with what everyone else wants just out of fear that they will cast you out of their social circle. And when you're in a depressed mood like I am due to no routine, talking to others does wonders. A problem shared is a problem halved... sharing is caring... as cliché as it sounds, it works.